Saturday, November 14, 2020

Thursday, January 03, 2013

我现在才发觉
原来这里藏着妳瞬间的美好
原来自己喜欢妳的时候 那份感动是那么甜
看着看着 原来妳在我面前的点点滴滴
都变得那么深刻 都变成理所当然的记忆
已经不需要刻意写下来 已经不需要刻意留念

原来妳已印在我的心里
——《一小时冲印》梁汉文

其实 我心里有个想法
早知道我们没有缘分
可是我想让妳觉得妳有被人追求的那种甜蜜
至少 妳可以开心一阵子 直到妳找到为止
妳也许会告诉我妳不喜欢这样
不过我相信.. 每个人都希望被珍惜被宠
哪怕是一下子 也想任性一下
被保护 被照顾 被呵护

不过我似乎失败了
因为我很认真的在侵犯妳的生活
一直都希望以妳的生活为主题
可是却形成一种丑陋的纠缠
而且也成为一个坏人了


叹息也没有用
没有人知道。
希望我给妳最后的一份礼物
可以让妳更快找到一个爱妳的爱人


Tuesday, January 01, 2013

突然有感而发

刚刚和朋友出去吃饭喝茶
无意间提起了昨天的一些小事
我们讨论讨论了一番
他就在我面前提起了雯荔
说她穿得很大胆之类的

心里突然好像被刺到般
想起她我就会有很莫名的感觉
兴奋 害怕 胆怯 开心 混乱
什么样子的矛盾心情都有
不过我不是为了说她昨晚是多么漂亮多么性感
我只是想说..

之前我说过了 我对她表白 结果被拒绝了
然后我就告诉自己 不能放弃 表白只是一个开始
不过昨天发生了一些事 弄到场面极为尴尬的
因为我弄哭了她的好朋友 然后整个晚上和平常一样
都很尴尬的在进行 其实她很take it easy了
尴尬的
我猜只有我而已

我觉得...
之所以尴尬
是因为不能接受当初的答案
“我们做朋友比较好”
或许当我不是那么喜欢妳的话
我们可以好像朋友般聊天之类的
可是
我骗不到人 更骗不了自己
被拒绝的时候我真的想着
“该做的都做了,被拒绝了,嗯,有一点轻松了”
才知道 我真的很喜欢妳
不过这几年内 除非发生奇迹 我们是绝对不会在一起的
你说你还年轻 嗯 你遇到了对的人 你会舍弃这些原则


刚刚电视机所播的倒数节目
是阿雅姐所主持的 她说了一句话 嗯... 很true的一句话
而且还是在林宥嘉表演完以后 哈哈哈哈 难道是悲歌所启发?
她说了一句
“一个人要爱自己,才会发光发热,才会让人家爱你,自己才有能力去爱别人”

她说的一点都没有错
2013才刚开始 我会努力让自己发光发热
说实在 今年如果有什么愿望的话
我希望我这次是有了告白许可证
再次向妳告白 然后能够成为爱妳的人 妳所爱的人

我谁都不要
我只喜欢妳
这次的我 搞清楚了
可是我在你心里变得多坏了呢
还是我根本就没有位置可以站?

如果彼此有缘份的话,我相信
我真的相信 我们怎样都会在一起
只是 我希望时间可以停留

刚从酒吧回来
和朋友们庆祝年夕夜
嗯... 说话不小心得罪了人
场合里还有喜欢的人在

6个人
雯荔,丽云,振翔
筱倩和brian


在这之前
我和雯荔表白了
结果失败了 情况也没有好转到哪里去
反而还比以前尴尬了许多
一直都认为是对方不成熟
后来才知道 原来是我本来就那么幼稚

我一直都希望可以什么都参一脚
我一直都以为活跃就能很快成为朋友群的一分子
所以我都没有说不 我都没有拒绝
可是现在想想 说不也没什么大不了
多我一个不多 少我一个不少
本来输入系统在我打“少我一个不少”的时候是给我
“烧我一个不少”
其实现在想想 事实的确是如此

新年前夕竟然来了这么一个打击
才发觉原来我才是自己嘴上所讲的那个败类
我不会做家务
我目前也没有所谓的铁饭碗
我也没有好好孝顺父母
说话才知道 以前的都是骗人 都没用上场 反而还恶化了
做了才知道 以前都在浪费青春 等到需要的时候竟然什么都没准备好
眼睛稍微眨一下 就看到眼睛已经坏到了一个程度
不爱自己 是不值得被爱
我想 这句话是真的

最近朋友才自杀身亡
念头突然闪过了额头
可是却没有勇气
而且 我以前不是一个人的吗?
我以前 我一直以来 都是一个人上课
一个人吃饭 一个人看戏 一个人走走停停
为什么现在那么懦弱 变得如此依靠人家了呢
我反复的告诉自己
我从来都没有试过在马路上那么慢
我一直都是抱着想回家休息的心情驾车
可是今天 我好希望时间突然变得缓慢
好让我 有时间 看看自己是多么的失败

我不可以怪父母
我不可以怪兄弟姐妹
我不可以怪朋友
我不可以怪环境
我不可以怪任何人

一个人面对 很辛苦
不过我觉得 我很快就可以习惯
我相信我很快就可以习惯

各位
新年快乐
晚安

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DID OMIGOD
I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD ABOUT MYSELF NOW
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS IS BEYOND MADNESS ALREADY HOLYFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
wtf did i just did omigod noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
noo.....

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

tonight, is not really a good night.
I was having a really rough night.
A very very rough type which you would never ever try to imagine how rough it is.

What sort of rough. No one asked.
Because no one's gonna read here.
It's rough like a motherfucking rock solid cold hearted lava stone.
It contains heat and thorn-shaped rough surface that could pierce a new butt hole for you.

Today, it's like what happened few days ago.
The girls came and find my roommate for help.
I mean, HELP. HE FUCKING DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM.
Of course I got no problem with that lar, because if I were him I'll help because it has the potential of increasing chances for me to touch their pussies.
But the problem here is, we have a very major pokemon issue.

Look, it's a MAJOR POKEMON ISSUE.

POKEMON. YES.

I was hanging inside my room.
Like the usual hours and days, and almost every moment.
Trying to get my mood and morale up to do my assignments.
But the pokemon phenomenon out there is driving me crazy.

My fren is like the pokemon trainer.
and the girls are all his pokemon. He's training them how to be a great sexual performers.
Not sexual actually, it's just something that includes penis and pussies if you know what I mean.

Ok, first I step out of this fucking room.
Second I walk to them, and I was trying to fucking socialize with them.
The atmosphere in my room is extremely awkward until I don't even recognize where the fuck am I.
Third, I'll start with the easiest person to talk.
She fucking ignored me, and she said if I go near her again I'll get rewarded the world most motherfucked rock solid tekken (it means iron fist).
COME ON MAN, I'M JUST A FUCKING INNOCENT SHEEP WITH DICKS.
Oops, without the 's' please.

Ok lar, i'm real scared because her punch can simply knock out a hamster.

So I try to move out to the next stop.
Aaaahh.. there goes the other pokemon.
Her face was fucking fierce, and I can feel she's feeling with hatred and extreme jealousy.
She could really start off with something real stupid at any minute.
She just need a detonator to support her.
Normally at this kind of fucked up thrilling situation, I would love to be the detonator and see dramas.
But hell no, this game is not my business today, I JUST WANNA HAVE SOME FUCKING USUAL TALK WOI.

OK, MOU MAN TAI.
The pokemons over there scared the shit outta me.
I go for the next station.
Where the trainer is training a pretty cute pokemon, erk herm, I could say.

And I thought this trainer could at least give me some positive respond.
MANA TAO.
HE ASK ME FUCK OFF AND CATCH MYSELF A RATTATA.
He didn't fucking said that ok, I just kinda feel it from his words.

OK LAR, I SIEN LIAO LORH.
And then I scooch back to my room and try to sing, at least it keeps me talking with rhythm.

But then what really happen is..
SUDDENLY OUTSIDE IS FILLING UP WITH HAPPINESS OI WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING MAN?!

WHAT
THE FUCK
IS REALLY HAPPENING OUT THERE MAN?!

They're actually having fun, just like what Ash did with his pokemons.
Having children sex in the pokemon centre, like that.
Very happy and everyone was "Hahahahah" and "pika pika!"

Wuuuaaat dee faakkk is this.

It's like I should've scooch back into my dirty nasty nest, and sleep with rattatas.

This is a place where I live, I paid to live.
And I thought I'm the owner, and I expect some respects and response larh walao.

I masuk you all scream like motherfucker.
I keluar you all silent like motherfucker also.
What also you all jadi sajelah.
NIIIIAAAMAAAAAA

IT'S LIKE WHOLE BUNCH OF POKEMON BOYCOTT ME IN MY OWN NEST WALAO.
YOU COME AND MESS AROUND MY NEST AND YOU BOYCOTT ME LIKE THIS IS YOUR FUCKING NEST.
MEH HAAAAII OOOOOOOHHHHHH

DIAO NGA NGAI DIAAAOO BETOL LAH.

FUCKING API OO NOW.
CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKED SHIT MAN.

YA LAR, IT'S TRUE THAT I JEALOUS LARH.
BUT NORMAL PEOPLE ALSO GET HURT LIKE THAT LORH.
MAHAI TALK ALSO CANNOT.
I THOUGHT WE'RE FROM THE SAME BATCH???!
CHAOCHEEBAI.

I ADMIT LAR, I HAMSUP, I SOHAI, I CHIAODISH.
SO WHAT.
WHO DOESN'T
LIKE THAT BOYCOTT ME, NIAMAHAI.
EVERYONE ALSO GOT THEIR PROBLEM.
I DEAL WITH IT YOU DEAL WITH YOURS.
WE BOTH GOT PROBLEM BOTH COME SETTLE LAR.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PROPER INTERACTION?!

ITS NOT LIKE I WILL FUCK YOU AFTER I TALK TO YOU.
ITS NOT LIKE I WILL RAPE YOUR BOOBS AFTER LAUGHING WITH YOU.
WHAT?
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA CUM ON YOUR FACE WALAO.

EVERYTHING JUST DOESN'T SEEM REASONABLE IN FRONT OF ME.

ALL I WANNA SAY NOW IS FUCK.

FUCK.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dang...
It's 8.16a.m. now and I'm awake.
My roommate is still sleeping now as in he's not really worried about what he's going to face.
Nah, not saying that he ready to fail or what.
It's just that, he's sleeping that tight and I'm pretty jealous.
But I know I can do it 2 weeks later.
So... better tired now and save for the golden time for the 2 weeks later.

Hmmm..
Time is really going fast and I'm not making any aggressive progress on my assignments.
This sucks because the render time will be a superb headache if everything weren't planned perfectly and end up shitting in front of people.
Gargh. I'm trying my best to speed it up people.
I mean... AT BEST.


Alright enough of short updates crap.



So here's the thing..
I think I'm a total asshole because..
There's these people that I hate, they're females.
But sometimes...
I just can't help falling into them.

who are these people?

They're hot and brilliant cancerian babes.

LipFei.
PuiKeun.

Who else?
I really don't know.

At least these 2 people have almost the same personality.

Maybe I'm too naive and shallow to judge people.
But right now, I believe my eye for once.

They're pretty.
They're smart.
and maybe I can say, They're indepedent.
Oh, and they're rich too.

I've got nothin' much to say now.

All I can say is...
I love 'em. <3

Sunday, October 24, 2010

我就是冲着你来的
怎么样??

我好像跟每个人都那样说
因为如果我不是冲着你来的话
我是不会跟你开玩笑的
我是不会开你玩笑的
我根本就不会想知道你到底是什么卡

不过人类真的超级犯贱
我很需要朋友
不过这种时候我觉得一个人
真的很不错
因为死是我一个人
不是全部人

坦白说
这句话我重复了N次
我可能没那么多
我的朋友也许有那么多

“你只是想引起众人注意”

我自己如果没有那么多笨细胞的话
我是不会随便同意这个讲法的

“只是有时你,用错方法”

还是那句
我不会随便同意这句话,不过这个是一种事实

很多时候
我们人类作的东西都是以一面镜子来衡量
我们为何吃饭
因为我们看到有人吃饭
我们为何走路
因为我们看到有人走路
我们为何跳楼自杀
因为我们看到有人跳楼自杀

如果一开始
这句 “我鸟你”的句子不是被列为粗口的话
现在的打招呼应该就是“我鸟你”这3个字
而你好吗就是干你奶奶的意思

回到来
我看过很多人也是这么过日子
不如说 我看到的你们也是这样过日子的
轮到我拿主意的时候
为何都是一堆反对票?

这种时候要找借口实在是太矛盾了
可以说非常容易
也可以说非常难
因为我们人类实在是太复杂了
复杂到我们自己都觉得突然变笨

我现在没什么好话想说
只是在收拾心情
给自己一个借口来掩盖人家给我的审判