can shut up please?

juz finished some stuff
help my bro, attending art class, and..ONLINE

i read her blog, twice. she's definitely right, to everyone
but to me, hehe, not so good after all =.=
friend is friend, today friend forever friend, is it true?
is it that speak out the truth, shall get forgiveness?
is it after forgiveness, the friendship can be built?
nope, not everyone can have that chance
at least i can tell
i never stand a chance to do so.
they say they cannot friend with me cause i sell them
i did, and i did try for forgiveness
they juz deny me, ignorance
what can i do if i cannot get things right in my way?
imagination, and it kills.
"everyone has it own good, have their own unique"
is that so? is it unique can change a person to a good view?
i also wished, I WISHED and i PRAY FOR IT EVERYDAY
5 months, really short, and not much things can be done within it
of course, people who have friendship wthin will try to appreciate
but do you all know any idea how the way i try to appreciate?
i did nothing for it, cause i have nothing in these 5 years
its juz like a curse.

i met them in my primary schools, i count it out
our friendship remains only 5 months..nope, is BUILT in 5 months
then come to secondary school, we seperate, i missed them so much
never mind, maybe i found myself in secondary school
i remembered how the way i childish when i was form 1
ruined myself almost
form 2, the most miserable life ever
name spreaded in Daisies, baddies
in class what i do? try to friend, but end up in crying at home
i not bluffing, i really ran home and cry hard
those memories in that class i still remembered clearly
never mind, maybe this is my fate, i dun care
form 3 and form 4, i thought it would be better
but when i was about to accept these changes
soon i realise i didn't even move, still remain the same place
"why you hate me so much?" "because you so childish"
juz because ugly, stupid, childish, and brainless..
you dun wanna fren with me? cheh, i dare to say CHEH in front of you
what can you say about childish? not many people mature, and that is included you
really cannot get it, dun really have any idea, what is childish????
i try to recover the relationship like last time, i dare not say i fail it
but you RUIN it.
see? you all are lucky
i tried to be the lucky one but it doesn't choose me
what can i do? i shout at myself, in my heart
i shout when i carry out daily activity, i shout
shout whatever i can
never being heard.

"i not alone, because i have frenz"
"no matter whatever is he/she"
"frenz are frenz"
this can be helped, but i dun feel it
what is frenz? you can tell? is it the same as i thought?
is it everyone feel the same way? if is like that

then what the hell i am?

tears is said to be wash away sorrow and sadness
i dun have any of it now, cause the word "FRIEND"
torturing me, burning up my heart with hatred
many people think i ridiculous, but this is what i feel
I FEEL IT THAT WAY

sigh, what can i say now?
" you get it because of yourself "
most of the people told me that, i dunno whether i should admit it or not
they can deny it when they heard that
but i juz forced to admit it
it is so so so so so so so SO FUCKING UNFAIR
i really wanna frenz wth you all
talk like what you all did everyday
know what you all shared everything
and share my thoughts with you all
why dun you all juz hear me out?
is it my existance, look so tiny until you can step on me
and kill me like an ant?
to tell you all the truth, i really really ENVY other people
i also wanna have some nice school life
not juz imagination for satisfying
but for real, for me to memory
now i dun stand a tiny chance
everything is almost over
what can i left in this school? in this 5 years life?
NOTHING.