Sadistic .1

well err...
this holiday makes me feel so depressed.
dunno why, its juz a single word, that i used to say to the others, and listen from the others.
but this time, its truly hurt. really hurt, i feel pain inside, deep in my heart.

sighs...
i deserved everything?
is that, what i live for?
"first time i use that word"
what happen to you? you too stress?
or you juz hate me so much? i dun get it.
its ridiculous.

i juz dunno how to continue to talk about it.
i feel sad, really sad. i thought we can be frenz.
i really thought, we can be frenz!!
juz frenz..normal frenz, we can talk, we can share, we can work together about.

i feel like crying now. searching for warming spot.
unfortunately, the world is a cruel fact.
i found nothing warm in my life.

...