"Thats none of your business."
because of this my mother cried.

look, there's a reason why i sweat my sweater.
morning it was so damn cold out there.
and the classrooms are air-cond-ed.
and then my class last for about 7 hours.
it means that i'll be studying under air-cond-ed environment for 7 hours.
so of course i'll wearing it whole day.
and then after i came back i threw my sweater into the basket.
and my mother came in and said "are you crazy? weather so hot you still wearing like that? you only take afternoon class then dun wear whole day lar aiyoh."
well i can said i was hot-tempered person.
i heard the way she talk, the word she used i straight fed up.
and then i replied her.
"Thats none of your business."

that time her heart broken apart.
'what the hell is he replying me with that stupid sentence? i feed him for 18 years and say nothing about it'
i bet this is what my mother thought that time.
yes.
many mother will gone collapsed and angry because of that word.
well i've got my very own reason why i said that.

.1 i dun really respect my mother already, cause i think she's weak.
she's not enough strong in heart, and she's not determinate enough.

.2 she's an gambler. a addicted gambler. a strong losing gambler. a loser luck gambler.
she said she were tired. i can be very sure!!!
you heard me.

I CAN VERY SURE IF SHE STOP GAMBLING NOW

SHE WILL HAVE A LOT MORE LIGHTER BURDEN

THAN NOW!

.3 she expect us to do well while she failed to be the example.

to tell you guyz the truth, i dun raelly love my mother now.
i juz need her.
need her money, need her contribution.
need her energy, need her one last breathe.

well maybe everyone will think i'm a selfish person.
well.

I REALLY AM.

mother's day are coming soon.
is there any meaning for that day?
that day was sunday, i guess she will celebrate herself with the slot machines.

my mind was confusing now. assignments + family problem + money.
dunno what the fuck i'm talking about now.
i guess it was the wrong choice for my parents to give birth to me.