Spills .4

WHAT THE FUCK YOU STREAMYX.

I PAY YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK YOU REPAY ME?!

BABI SERVICE?

APA NI?! NOW WE'RE USING BROADBAND OR BABI?!

YOU TELL ME LAR!

PUKIMAK.
ORANG CINA CELEBRATE CHINESE NEW YEAR YOU ALSO GO CELEBRATE CHINESE NEW YEAR.
YOU EAT DRIED MEAT OR NOT FIRST.
WE EAT PORK LAR BABI.

P O R K ! ! ! !

FUCKING RETARDED SHIT.
WE CELEBRATE OURS AND YOU CELEBRATE YOURS LAR.
AS IF YOU'VE CINA BABI'S BLOOD AND PRAY BUDDHA.

IF NOT THEN JUZ SIT QUIETLY IN YOUR MAINTENANCE OFFICE

AND FUCKING FIX YOUR CUSTOMERS' HEADACHE ISSUES!!!!

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.2nd
I am very glad that everyone love to take picture nowadays.
but this is my blog.
so I'm gonna say whats in my mind.
I'm glad that people loves to take picture, especially bloggers.
but what make me sick is.
they really think they deserve a DSLR and edit the pictures with photoshop.
thus, they can come out with a very nice photos.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MAN.
to people who dun have enough skills but think they deserves it:
unless you've got the money. then you can burn for it.
if not, juz stick with digital camera with enough settings.
because you are so immature about DSLR. never underestimate it.
I can be very sure that even I was using a stupid digital camera.
I can come out with a very good picture too.
I'm not trying to like.. be proud. but I juz feel so unfair sometimes.
what for you need a super power geng geng camera if you dun even know how to play with the functions?
juz use a normal digital camera can d lar.
1000 to 1500 de digital camera is enough.
you dun need 2500 to buy a DSLR juz to take beautiful picture.
a digital camera is more than enough.
unless you're really a super genius.
and addict.
everyday play with it.
then i've got nothing to say.
well... actually I say all this is because.
sometimes I really feel so unfair.
last time when i wanna buy a wacom. my ma said "no budget"
last time when i wanna buy a DSLR. my dad said "buy for what? you can use our digital camera also what. also taking picture"
last time when i wanna buy a new pc. my dad said "buy for what? you can use your old pc to do work also what"
last time when i wanna buy ps2. my dad said "buy for what? buy liao then what about your ps1, got ps1 enough lar"

I'm fucking clearly understand that my family is not a rich family.
its juz average. nothing more than average.
but you know when I think it was necessary. and I mean it. and I want it.
I'm trying not to blame them.
but during my secondary school life.
I'm quite active in taking photos. I'm happy with the life with my stupid digital camera.
I can deal with every single setting of the camera. although my sense wasn't that sharp.
I wanted to buy one DSLR. to play more.
but now you see. My fire about photography has gone off.
totally off.
and I feel sad and disappointing about it.
few days ago i try to play with my digital camera.
and I lose my sense about photography. totally.
the interest. the hobby. the love. the passion.
everything. all gone.
I juz feel so unfair. why they can fly up and down, to the left and to the right.
but I juz never get my stuff from them?
my bro juz asked once and they juz hand him the money and he now own himself a DSLR.
I am so sad.
I am so fucking sad. about it.
Its true that my brother love to take picture.
but I can tell. his skill wasn't there yet.
oh god. i think i juz lost my mind.
sorry guys if i offended you. juz fuck off. cause this is my blog.
and I never know there's people reading it.

this is so unfair.
so so unfair. because of these disappointment.
I've lost the hobby I love most.

so so so unfair!!!

.3rd
this chinese new year. I finally see how a friendship works.
I can tell. I can really tell.
that I dun have a person that i can consider as Friend. F R I E N D.
so far everytime I chat with people. I use the word 'frenz' for a reason.
because they are not the frenz that i meant Friend to me.
I've got 2 or more examples to prove that.
-1st : my brother
starting from the day we finish visitting relatives house.
he's been busy going his friends house. very busy.
and his friends. came to my house too. TWICE.
and do you know where they stay? they stay exactly the same place where my frenz live.
how the fuck this is happening?
my bro ask his frenz to come, they said "OK, no problem, what time"
i ask my frenz to come, do you know what they said?
"haa, so far a, dun wan lor, very lazy, troublesome lar, especially south city there"...bla bla bla tons of reasons.
and my bro friends was so enjoying in our house. they had alot of conversation and games.
they were so happy. like one big family. and some of them. came to our house OFTEN.
this is friends. I know.
they never stop talking. they never had a full stop between them.
-2nd : My sister.
my sister. I know I shouldn't say like that.
first she is a female. a female means a very sensitive and emotional human being.
confirm. she will have alot of male frenz.
second. you know lar. female always have their own bitches gang. so. thats why.
and third. last time she's not studying in good class. which means. most of her classmates.
all talking about friendship loyalthy. this is what i thought about her friends lar.
although they never said they wanna come. but they actually think about coming by.
and they never ever ever. say that our house is so far.

you know. the whole chinese new year.
I've been waiting for calls. out of desperate. I even ask people about having plans or not.
maybe some of the fuckface reader think. "why dun you ask yourself"
i know. there is NEVER EVER a single human being that comes with a brain. would ever accept my invitation.
I've been waiting for sms. for invitation.
the first 3 days I understand the reason for no sms or calls.
maybe because of visitting relatives. but what about the remaining days?
what the fuck are you guys doing that time?
why you guys go to the gurlz house that juz live above my place without saying anything.
you have to drive pass my house to reach there you know?
her house is even further than my house!!
oohh god. my tears almost came out from my fucking colour blinded eye.
I thought last year we did. so this year we could have done better.
I thought you guys grown up. I thought you guys really think I'm one of you all.
I even drive at night. just because you ask me whether you wanna come or not.
not drive to somewhere near. its so far away ok.
maybe to some of those lan sii driver they think it was a easy job.
but to me it wasn't.
I have night blindness. and that was my first time to drive at night.


everytime I think of friends. I told myself.
I give myself alot of excuse to defend them.
but right now. I feel so tired.
I feel very tired. fuck.. i'm not gonna cry behind my bro.

people always said. Its better be standing out. more than just a fit-in.
but right now. I dun feel like standing out anymore.
fit-in will just do my life.

fit-in is enough.